Surfaced fears
by BlackPidge
Summary: One accident changes Bella's whole life. She loses the only person she had and cared for, with it her hope, and she is only left with one thing. Fear. Will there ever be some light in her life again? Will she allow that light in her life? What made her so fearful? How will she cope when her past still haunts her? What is she hiding that makes her so miserable?
1. Prologue

_Hello there! My bestie gave me an idea and suddenly I started creating a story in my head! I couldn't focus or pay attention, so I started writing it down. I know it is not a good idea to start another story when I'm working on another one right now but__... _I just couldn't help myself! I was so excited, I had to share it with you guys. Aaanyhoo, sorry for my rant and let's start with the story!

* * *

Numb...

That's how I felt.

Everything around me stopped.

My body felt heavy. I couldn't utter a word... I was in shock.

_No... It's impossible. Not her. _I thought

"What..." I managed to whisper.

"I'm sorry Miss. Swan," The doctor said, pity visible in his eyes. "We did all we could."

"No.."

"Miss. Swan, I know this is shocking, but your mom was D.O.A ***Dead On Arrival*. **We had no chance to save her."

I couldn't stand it anymore. I was hyperventilating. I started sobbing. Hard.

My sobs turned into howls and wails. I felt a pain in my chest, and I collapsed. I couldn't stop, I was shaking, kicking, and shouting. I was doing a scene, I know, but I don't care.

"Miss. Swan, please calm down. This is a hospital." He said sternly, all pity vanished from his eyes.

I didn't stop, I couldn't.

My cries got louder and louder, until the doctor called security. The two men picked me up ,while I trashed, and kicked me out.

* * *

I was sitting on the sidewalk, outside the hospital.

My cries ceased and suddenly it hit me... _I'm alone. She is dead._

There was no more denying it.

_I have lost the only thing I had. My mom._

The only thing that is left is... _  
_

_Fear._

* * *

This is short... but it is only the intro! A whole adventure awaits. Bear with me, please.

I would love to hear your thought so... Review?


	2. Chapter 1

Here's the story guys! I just want to explain something, Bella right now is going through something that's why she might have a bit of attitude towards everything. This story will contain swearing (Even though I do not swear).

Enough of my rambling.

Read on.

* * *

Green. Everything was fucking green in here.

After her..._death, _I had to pack my stuff and move in with my dad to a small ass town in Washington called Forks.

Everyone around me showered me with their pity, I was fed up with it. They always said the same stuff. ''I am so sorry for your loss.'', ''It's ok to cry, darling.'', ''I understand what you're going through.''

_Lies. That's what they are. They do not know how I feel! _

''You've grown so much.'' Charlie interrupted my train of thoughts.

_Charlie._ I hadn't seen him since I was 5. My parents got divorced when I was just a baby, and my mum moved away to sunny Phoenix.

_Now I see why. Everything here is so... alien like._

''Mh.'' I murmured.

''Look, Bells, I know you're going through...something. I don't wanna pressure you, just know I'm here for you, kay?'' He said awkwardly.

_Thanks but no thanks._

''Ok.''

Her funeral was going to be held here, like this was her hometown. I didn't want to go, I didn't want the pity of a bunch nosy, random people who I don't know.

An image of my mum came to my mind. She was smiling down at me while combing my hair with her fingers.

I shut my eyes tightly, stopping myself from crying.

_I miss her so much. _I sighed.

_It's your fault she died! You brought this on yourself. _A voice in my head accused.

_No! I didn't mean for it to end like this!_

_It doesn't matter anymore. You killed her!_

I tried to stop thinking about that. Angry tears streamed down my face.

_No. It's not my fault._

''Bells.'' Charlie said, getting my attention.

''Um yes?'' I cleaned my face quickly.

''Uh we are here.'' He said making me notice that we were parked in front of a big, two-story, house.

''Right.'' I said getting out of the car.

''Are you ok kiddo?'' Charlie said worried.

''Yup.''

''I'll take your suitcases.''

''Kay.'' I said following him into the house after he grabbed my suitcases.

''Home sweet home.'' Charlie said.

He showed me my room and the rest of the house.

''Look, Bells, due to my work, I have to travel constantly. Right now I have permission to stay home until the, er, funeral. After that I won't be home much.''

Charlie worked as a sales manager, or something like that. I didn't mind at all being alone. Actually I was glad I was going to be mostly alone.

He explained how it was going to work when he travels and then we ate dinner.

After dinner, I excused myself to my room. Everything was already set, the only things I brought on my suitcases were some clothes and my toiletries. I finished setting everything, I put the rest of my clothes in my closet, organized my personal stuff and toiletries. Then I stripped into a simple white tee, and some black shorts from pink.

I laid down on my bed and turned off my lamp. The only sound there was, is the soft pitter patter of the rain and soft sound of the TV coming from downstairs.

_Why? Why did this have to happen to me. I didn't mean for this to happen! Now, I will never get to tell her I'm sorry. I will never get to tell her that everything I said that day was a lie._

* * *

The days passed by quickly, but the nights painfully slow. At night, my mind was invaded with horrible images. The death of my mum always being the main plot. I would wake up covered in sweat and tears.

The dreaded day came, her funeral.

I woke up with big dark bags below my eyes, and puffy red eyes.

I dressed my self ***A/N: Outfits on my profile!* **not caring to put on make up.

My dad was waiting for me downstairs, he hugged me and then we got in the car.

He drove us to a small old church, where many people were apparently waiting for us.

The funeral passed by slowly, people approaching me every second giving me their ''condolences'' and asking how I was.

I had a blank look on my face and my eyes were empty of emotion. I just nodded at everyone, occasionally murmuring a curt thanks.

Finally it was time to leave.

_Fucking finally._

I was walking to the car when something caught my eye.

That's when I saw them.

The seven inhumanly beautiful people.

* * *

A little cliffy! Sorry if there are grammar mistakes, my main language isn't english! I will post outfits and stuff on my profile.

Show me your thoughts and review?


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